vita e misfatti

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About Markus

Dear K.,

Just wanted to say hello in a personal way. I was trying to go to bed and fall asleep but so much was going through my head. It is unreal and I am in pain. I am desperate and feel extremely lonely, I am unsure of things, life seems normal and unphased. I was at work today, and nobody around me could care or had a clue of what I was feeling and experiencing, and my condition. Sometimes things do not make the slightest sense, sometimes the things you give so much importance to are trivial and unimportant. I wanted to share my feelings with someone who could understand, sorry to do that. I emailed Nelli just a few minutes ago. What else can I do, being so far. You know I was making plans to be in Europe in just 6 or 7 weeks and I had already talked about this with Markus - we were going to catch up in Vienna for a few days. 

I am positive, and thankful for what I have and the moments I shared. 

~ ~ ~

Dear N.,

Where are you?  I wish you would be here not far from me so I would have someone to be with who is living and going through the same, and would understand. I don't know if this makes sense, I am here alone and I cannot sleep, I am sick. And the day and the people in my day were strangers like they generally are, and I am terribly lonely and far, and unsure. So I am writing an email to you and a few other good friends of Markus, what else can I do. I also sent an email to Markus this morning, and I think he got it. But soon we will have to start communicating in a different way, it will work. My thoughts are with him and so is my love, and also with his passion for life, his wonderful smile, his simplicity, and his friendship.

I send you my love and friendship,